"But your Colin Roe Ledbetter." I was told in a phone call. That was her way of saying you are who you are and thats why you get away with what you do/ why we put up with it.
I just called to say I hate boys," she says "I met a boy. He is like you, except he isn't charming and not as cute, he has no talent and he does drugs. So he is really nothing like you at all."
I can tell you that I had many love affairs during my first two years of college. Starting the Summer after I graduated High School. There were a few things going through my head: all my friends lived in our home town, I was in SLC / My last relationship ended weird and I didn't know how I felt about dating, although I still like being with girls.
In many cases I could have had a great relationship with any of the girls I saw in those two years. But I never could explain myself. So I went through them like I do with PEZ. Once that package is open I have one right after another. and sometimes 2 at once. sometimes I wash them down with chocolate sauce.
But the difference between Pez and women, there are many, but you can't hurt PEZ'z feeling. I led many people in to closer and closer relationships with me. but then would change from lemon to strawberry.
There was no excuse for what I did. but there is also no way for me to take it back. and no one should be able to mess with someones emotions. I did inadvertently, blindly. I almost still do it. but a few people pointed it out to me early on and I have been able to notice my actions and prevent past mistakes again.
I also took qualities and knowledge and I always tried to learn about women and how they think and why they think what they do. I love watching people and interacting with them. I think of every girl I know when I look at the girl I want to be with. Why go to the vanilla icecream shack when you can go to Baskin Robbins and try 32 flavors.
sometimes I miss one of them, sometimes I miss them all. sometimes just quirky things. even if I have a girl or if I am single I think about them all.
Just because my name flows well, and I am talented, charming and cute doesn't mean I should have the red carpet rolled out for me.
All my actions are coming back, karma.
"I hope everything is alright, and I think we should get coffee sometime" I say.
"Maybe," she says, "I hate you Colin. I hate you and I hate all boys. They are all the same. They are all like you. Don't forget, Colin, I hate you!"
"Ok. I like your random phone calls. Have a good day"
"I hate you, bye."
I am who I am. But I have changed. you all have helped me change for the better